i'm in love, but i still hate myself
one day i'm just gonna kill myself
even though, today i cut myself
it didn't hurt as much as i thought
it would, but it still bled
i hate myself even more now
such a disappointment
i hope no one sees them or
hears my cries at night
i cry now as i write this
i don't know why i feel this
way about myself
i want to fuck him
but maybe it's just to hurt myself
even more, as my memories of
"dad" pop out from my subconsious
or maybe to disappoint my parents
i want them to hate me as much as
i hate myself. i should never be loved
because i may be greedy and run with it
i want to put a gun to my head
and blow it off
watch as my body falls to the ground
in a big thud. my boyfriend
he says i'm beautiful
but i say i'm not and
i'm so unhappy here at home
please don't bring me home
i just want to spend the rest of my life
with you, only because i love you
but those words may scare you off
but i can't help the way i feel
about you and myself
i want to feel pain on the outside, not just on the inside
